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Confessed Recently? by Tan Soo-Inn, 15 May 2003 |
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I heard a very sad story recently. While abroad, a Christian sister had fallen into sexual sin. It was a one-time thing. She was alone and lonely, far from home. She didn't enjoy the encounter and regretted it the moment it was over. In fact the whole incident was so unlike her. She took her faith seriously and was very active in serving the Lord through her church. It was her first and only time that she had ever done anything like this. She knew that she had blown it big time and confessed to the Lord. In fact she confessed many times. But the guilt weighed on her back like a massive load. When she came home she resigned from all her ministry positions. She knew that she was no longer spiritually qualified to serve. Her church members were confused by her actions. But she couldn't tell anyone what she had done. Can you imagine admitting something like this in your typical bible-believing evangelical church? Who would understand? Who would extend grace? A load of guilt is the heaviest, loneliest load in the world. She carried it around till she met a friend who became Christ to her. He pronounced Christ's forgiveness over her. And she was free. Please stop trying to guess the identity of this person. It could happen to anyone of us. Really. There is no excusing fornication. Sin is sin. And we all have sinned. I am more disturbed by the fact that most of our churches are not safe places to confess. James tells us to "confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." (James 5:16a NLT) How much confession do you see going on in your typical evangelical church? We are quick to remind one and all that we can confess directly to Christ. We don't need to go through any intermediary. True. But often when we think we confessing directly to Jesus we are confessing to the ceiling. When we confess to Christ in the presence of a brother or sister, it helps concretize the sincerity of our confession. And helps us experience the forgiveness that comes from a genuine confession. Clearly we need to be selective as to whom we go to with our confessions. But I can testify that confessing my sins in front of a spiritual friend has led to a real sense of forgiveness. And the breaking of the hold of many stubborn sins. If confessions are a key way to experience wholeness and if our churches are not safe places to confess, I can only assume that many of us are walking around carrying heavy loads of guilt. And that many of us are sick in one way or another. The sad truth is that all of us have sinned. This would become evident if we could have a spiritual x-ray machine that could see into the heart of everyone at Sunday worship. How can we not extend God's grace to others when we are all in need of it? How can our churches be such graceless places? It seems most of us are still in God's kindergarten in our attempt to learn how to hate the sin and love the sinner. Which is really surprising since we have so much practice at it. Hating sin and loving the sinner --- isn't that how we live with ourselves? Strangely we don't extend to others the same grace we extend to ourselves. Whatever. The end result is that most of us do not obey James' healing injunction in James 5:16. Which means many of us are not whole. Which means many of us carry heavy loads of guilt behind our smiling "I'm ok" masks. Many of us need to seek out a loving and safe friend, and put into words how we have failed God. Many of us need to hear someone remind us that God's love is bigger than our sin. Many of us need to be free. Confession. Just do it. Your brother, Soo-Inn Tan |